


On Broken Cobblestones

by YNAD_77



Series: ATLA Femslash submissions [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: ATLA Winter Femslash Week 2021, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Betty AU (as in Taylor Swift song), F/F, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, OC, Sapphic Suki, Sapphic Yue, Skater Suki, So much fluff but also some angst, Suki is James, Yue is Betty, minor Kyoshi Warriors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29224131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YNAD_77/pseuds/YNAD_77
Summary: "They said cycles were like this; one door closes and another one opens. But Suki had never intended to open Yue’s door and much less to close it. It was almost fair that it had begun and ended in the same way. She should really get over with the whole thing; she took a step forward and inhaled courage. She reached the doorbell even though she doubted it would be heard from the crowd inside the place, but she did, and the door started opening in slow motion. In that final moment, Suki recapitulated everything that had brought her to this time and place…"OrWINTER ATLA FEMSLASH WEEK DAY 5: MODERN AUYue/Suki
Relationships: Suki/Yue (Avatar)
Series: ATLA Femslash submissions [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137944
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4
Collections: Winter ATLA Femslash Week 2021





	On Broken Cobblestones

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer, English is not my first language so if you see any typo or mistake please take into consideration, I am doing my very best. You can find me on Tumblr like @ynad-77, I am always down to talk about anything really 💓💓  
> Kudos and Comments are always appreciated. I hope you have a nice day💕💕

**She took a deep breath, she had been preparing herself for this all summer long for this,** there was nothing else she could or couldn’t do anymore. _There is nothing to be afraid of_ , she told herself, she had gone through the worse cases scenarios in her mind a thousand and one times.

She couldn’t quite blame the cold for the shiver that ran through her body, it was midsummer, and yet she was missing some heat in her that day. Not even the 104° peak the heat had reached during this year or the asphalt that covered the streets and elevated even further the temperature had given her the heat that with her she had felt.

The house that stood before her was more than familiar to her and yet unknown; she couldn’t have said how many windows there were, nor the kitchen’s color, or the number of rooms there were, but she did know how it felt when she grabbed her hand as they went downstairs and how her eyes lighted up from her window when she spotted her. She knew the smell of the flowers in her garden and the shape she had left in the grass where she had laid.

She remembered the last time she had been there and her coward run away, the fat tears that had streamed down her face and clouded her sight, her fall against broken cobblestones, and the way she had stayed there hugging her knees for half an hour trying to convince herself that the pain came only from her scratched knees.

And now here she was again, ready for everything and nothing at all. She knew that what had been done, done was, for better or for worse; she would never forget the months she spent by her side even if everything was ruined now _._ **There was nothing left to be lost now, she told herself, one cannot lose what isn’t yours to lose in the first place.**

The music reached the outside of the house, but the silence she felt was louder than any sound. She needed to see her one more time so she could end breaking her heart and allowed her to heal again. Even though she doubted this was something she would ever be able to recover from; Yue didn’t know how to do anything wrong. She wouldn’t just break her heart, no, she would pulverize it, wreck it, ravage it, and burn it to the ground. But that would be wrong, her heart **did** belong to Yue after all and she could do to it as she pleased, even if it hurt her. Yue, Yue, Yue…

They said cycles were like this; one door closes and another one opens. But Suki had never intended to open Yue’s door and much less to close it. It was almost fair that it had begun and ended in the same way. She should really get over with the whole thing; she took a step forward and inhaled courage. She reached the doorbell even though she doubted it would be heard from the crowd inside the place, but she did, and the door started opening in slow motion. In that final moment, Suki recapitulated everything that had brought her to this time and place…

—

It was the third time this first week Suki got called out on her behavior. It was amazing the amount of problems she could get in in such short amount of time, but this time it looked like the thing had been serious. Apparently, if she wanted to graduate from high school she needed to learn how to “properly behave”, full bullshit if you asked her. Nevertheless, she had no plans to stay any longer than she had to

It was not her fault no one did anything when injustices were being committed right in front of her; not the teachers and even less the cafeteria staff. Sure, Suki could understand it wasn’t their job to end student fights, but they could call someone or do something instead of just pretending nothing was happening around them; she had no choice but to intervene. No matter who it was the one throwing the punches, Suki always won. Not without some bruises in her own, but she always did. Big guys, athletes, football players, none of them got nothing on her and her martial skills. 

Despite still having two years to go, they were already conditioning her graduation; apparently, all the damage she had caused couldn’t be compensated in one. _Great_. a simple condition had been imposed on her; In theory, she could have gotten it worse, she could have gotten detention every Friday or community service on the weekends, but they were only asking from her to raise her notes. It would have been a simple task had Suki not have already almost perfect notes on everything.

Make no mistake, Suki understood the importance of education. She was a smart girl who did enjoy learning, her only “stain in her curriculum” was to be a “troublemaker”. She totally disagreed with the term they had given her, she was no troublemaker, she ended them though. But it had never really bothered her, she already had her future planned and could get as many stains in her curriculum as she wanted. Her Sensei, Master Kyoshi had promised her to pass on her Karate School.

Sometimes she was still in awe that Master Kyoshi had considered her to be her successor. It was such an honor. Suki loved Kyoshi´s dojo, she had grown up in there and her best memories were there as well; she had met her current girl gang there, they even called themselves “The Kyoshi Warriors”. Originally it had been some random name they decided to put to their group chat when they had entered the skating world and decided they needed to be more in touch and communicate further than they did in the dojo, but it had stuck with them and now that’s what they called themselves. Unluckily for Suki, the other Kyoshi warriors didn’t go to school with her, or at least she wouldn’t be alone taking these bullies. They lived a few towns from there, their center point to meet had always been Kyoshi’s school, until they started skating.

Suki loved the story behind that hobby that had become so important to her; it had all started when Jin, one of her friends, had wanted to learn but was scared to do it alone. All girls had come together to learn together, so June didn’t feel so alone. What had started as a way to support their friend had ended up being everyone’s hobby, which evolved eventually into some kind of Gang.

Suki would always be proud of her Kyoshi Warriors, they were a group of girls who dedicated their free time to local justice; they organized rallies and had support groups and sometimes, if the situation required it, they would lowkey serve as vigilantes and brought justice to the girls whose boyfriends had thought were defenseless enough to to take advantage of them.

Even though Kyoshi turned her head to the other side so she could have deniability, she was proud of their acts. That was what she trained for; to bring justice on an unfair world, especially for girls. And Suki was proud of her to be chosen to carry such legacy. That was why she didn’t really care for her school curriculum; she found college to be overrated when she could stay to teach girls how to fight back and make a change at least into their lives.

That didn’t mean she didn’t want to graduate, though. Or that she would forget all her schoolwork, no. Suki had decent grades, good enough for her parents never to give her shit about them (not that they cared if she didn’t though, they weren’t much around.). So, raising them was an actual problem, she already gave it all she could to it. However, this wasn’t a problem that required much thinking to solve, because part of the punishment came along the solution; they were making her too to get a tutor.

It felt weird, looking at the sign with the available tutors; it was a chart in which each tutor put down their name and their availability and it was filled as the student decided their tutor. As it was the beginning of the semester, most of them were still available. She had never asked for help from any of them before, but their reputation preceded most of them. Mai was the goth girl, it was said she was very good at math and chemistry, but she wasn’t precisely mean, but she wasn’t nice either. Sokka was good at physics, English, and Math but he told a thousand jokes and sometimes he forgot about his tutoring sessions.

All of them were fine by her, she didn’t have much of a preference. Or at least that was what she thought before reaching the last line: “Yue Kannak, Mon,Tue, Wed, Thur,Fry from 2-3pm 😊”. Suki knew, as all the school, who the girl was. Yue was a cheerleader, which automatically made her a popular girl around, but she also had enviable grades and was way beyond kind. Everyone knew who Yue was, she was the most perfect girl, the school’s sweetheart.

Unlike most people, Suki had no opinion of her; she simply knew three things, of her existence, that she was divinely beautiful and that she was out of reach from absolutely anyone. But Yue acted as if that wasn’t a well-known fact, or worse as if she didn’t know it. That did bother Suki, if you know you have it all because it is awfully obviously there, why pretend you don’t? Because you pitied others (everyone) that didn’t? How stupid. 

Stupid or not, Suki didn’t have a choice. She knew that if someone could help her improve her grades, she needed to put her name in Yue’s line. That was another thing the cheerleader had; she didn’t know how to do anything wrong, everything she did was always so perfectly delivered. Not even helping others was she bad at; every single fucking person that Yue tutored got a better grade for sure. It was almost like an undeniable reality it would be that way. No one ever knew how she got it done; she had gotten people from F’s to B+’s in less than three months.

No matter how good, in every sense the word could be applied to, Yue was, it didn’t save her from mean and cruel rumors about her, from both boys and girls. Most of the people she helped out were men, not much out of choice from her, but theirs. Everybody wanted to try their luck with her. and they could come up with all kinds of ridiculous stories of how study sessions turned into something more, but the truth was that she was unreachable for everyone. No one had even gotten a kiss from her, and they never would. But that was high school, and there was not a single day in the school Yue’s name wasn’t around in someone’s lips, but never by Suki. She gave exactly zero fucks if Yue had kissed someone or not, or how she had braided her hair that day, or how that skirt looked on her.

Unless now that she needed her, she cared. She quickly scrabbed her name in her section of Wednesday’s at 2 pm. She could always change her mind later, but for now, it was better to have her spot safe with Yue.

Wednesday arrived with the same velocity August slipped away. The tutoring sign had clear instructions on which library’s table was Yue assigned and what was expected from Yue; bring her full materials, concrete questions, and “don’t make the tutors lose their time, BE ON TIME!!!”, but quite frankly, Suki forgot about it. If Suki’s classes ended at 2 pm, by 2:05 she was already out, not wanting to lose more time in there. Sue her, she didn’t have the habit to stay for longer and she forgot about her appointment with the cheerleader.

She was almost half a mile away when she remembered and quickly changed her direction 180°. She had totally forgotten about it and now it was up to her and her skateboard to get her the less late she could.

Had there been people around to see the scene she made as she stumbled inside the library, they would have laughed. She entered running and still out of breath and ran to the third table on the left, hoping there was still someone there. Between the hurry and the relief, she felt to see that the cheerleader was still there, she forgot to pay attention to her steps and stumbled upon a stupid pen. She managed to avoid a complete fall by slamming her hands to the table in front of her, making flinch the white-haired girl

"Tui and La, are you okay?" the other girl wasted no second and asked right away.

Suki found it weird, how much she had heard of the other girl and yet never from her; Yue’s voice was as soft as she had pictured it, but it carried along a commanding tone as well, it was unmistakable and now that she had heard it she would never stop to do so; she would recognize it between the hallways and among the cafeteria’s crows. All noise would be blocked out and her voice would be the only noise that remained.

“It was nothing. I am fine.” She quickly added, while shame burned in her cheeks. She couldn’t believe the first impression that little miss perfect would have from her would be an unpunctual, blushing sweaty clumsy mess.

“I am so sorry for the delay, I forgot.” She admitted. This couldn’t get any better, could it?

“Do not worry about it, it wasn’t long. I am Yue.” She said as she extended her hand. Suki couldn’t help to wonder about the necessity of her to introduce herself if everyone, absolutely every single person in the school knew who she was. Suki took her hand.

She couldn’t help but notice the difference between them, not only the contrast among their skins which was obvious at plain sight, but Yue’s hands were soft, contrary to hers that carried along with calluses from both skateboarding and Karate. Yue had her medium-length nails enameled by a deep blue color, whereas she had hers short and some had dirt underneath them. Suki’s hands were also covered in small band-aids, some needed and others there just for the aesthetic, whereas Yue’s hands didn’t have a single scratch. Suki let go quickly of her hand before the other could notice all she had and changed her mind on tutoring her. But Yue didn’t seem to notice, she was just smiling at her.

“Suki you have no idea how relieved I am to have you. I usually only tutor boys, it is refreshing to have another girl with me.” Oh. Maybe Suki should be honest with her before she disappointed her. Sure, Suki was a girl, but she wasn’t feminine like Yue’s cheerleaders’ friends were: they never had a hair out of place and walked with such grace. Almost princess-like. They probably never had to run to a place and fallen in their way.

“Yue I am not quite sure I am the kind of girl you are referring to.” She answered with honesty. It wasn’t something bad, it just wasn’t her style. Suki would never judge the girls that had a different style than hers.

“Are you making me lose my time and flirt the whole time? I don’t mind, I just… wished someone can because they really need my help and not only to play around.”

And wow, maybe what Yue was looking for wasn’t another girl, but just a decent person. Wow, the bar was on the fucking floor wasn’t it? Were all boys that way? Suki wouldn’t be surprised if the answer was yes. Still, she couldn’t help but to feel for the other girl, having to bear every day boys inviting her out must be tiring. Suki had never been asked out before, but she thought that if she were to be asked out she would feel flattered. But not if it was like that, everyday every time, even less when all Yue wanted to do was help people out.

“No, I don’t come to play around. I am in real need of your help.” She answered with honesty. Yue answered her back with a smile and the skater could feel as if a hurricane had begun in her stomach. She knew she knew Yue was pretty, but she had never agreed more than in that moment. Her smile reached her eyes, her long white lashes seemed to touch her upper eyelid and her brown-almost-black eyes glittered from happiness. Suki felt out of breath out of the sudden. She swallowed.

“Then, let’s begin!” the cheerleader excitedly said. Suki could do nothing but to nod.

“Hey!” Suki had seen this coming; she could already recognize her voice. She stopped short in front of her skateboard but didn't rose her eyes to see her. Suki heard as the other got closer.

“I didn’t know you skated,” Yue commented. She kept quiet, but the cheerleader had gotten closer to her and now it was impossible to ignore her presence when she was so close she could even smell her perfume. It was strawberry's.

“Yeah, I’ve been doing it for a while now.” She dryly answered back. She didn’t want to be rude to Yue, but she knew that if she engaged more in the conversation, she wouldn’t be able to get out in time.

“You didn’t come last week.” _You left me all alone_ was left unsaid. Suki was used to being noticed for bad things she did in the school and rebel ones on the street. But she wasn’t used to being seen by Yue and couldn’t help but to feel a little bit judged.

“I am sorry, I forgot about it. I am not used to.” She terribly excused herself with a lie.

The truth had been that Suki hadn’t forgotten about it; on the contrary, she was very aware of her appointment with Yue. Just as she was aware of her weird feelings for her, of the way her stomach ached when she saw her, and her heart skipped a bit. Suki had never felt this way before and couldn’t bring herself to say she was scared from the reaction the cheerleader had on her. 

“Don’t worry about it, I was just worried about you. Are you coming today?” Yue asked as if Suki could ever tell her no when she was giving her that look with those beautiful coal eyes. Not for the first time, Suki found herself lost in words and just nodded. Yue smiled and Suki tried to ignore the blankness in her mind when the cheerleader smiled. It would be dumb to think she gave her a special smile, it was surely just the way Yue smiled at everyone, but Suki allowed herself to daydream a little bit.

Underneath the September sun, both girls walked silently together to the library.

—

Autumn came and with it Yue’s absence, which was hard not to notice. She never missed school and the only day she did seemed as if all eyes were looking for her. Suki knew everyone talked about her, whether it was for good or for bad, Yue’s name hung from both boy's and girl's lips alike.

Therefore, as soon as Suki had heard that Yue was sick, she hadn’t doubted a single second to skip school and went straight up to visit her. Suki wasn’t what you’d call a professional chef, but she did her best try and now she only prayed Yue appreciated her lame attempt on chicken soup. Suki knew Yue had a very strict routine and a lot of discipline, which meant that if she was sick enough to miss school it must be a really bad situation.

The walk to Yue’s house had never seemed so long and agonizing at the same time. It wasn’t the first time she made this same path, but it was the first time she had done it alone; after a few weeks of tutoring, Suki found out that talking to Yue came like a second nature to her (putting her massive crush on the other girl aside) and quickly they had become good friends. She had even started to wait for Yue after cheerleading practice and walk her home (she skated, and Yue walked though).

Suki found relief in the fact that the summer was over because she could not imagine skating these long streets under the heavy sun July bring with it, but she knew she would also have done it then because, in the end, she would find Yue who gave her heat in October and cool in June. The streets were long and normally that was good for those who, like Suki, was looking for good places to skate; the curves were well defined, the fairways were smooth and there were no holes or anything to avoid, it was almost relaxing to skate without any external worry about the road, but Suki never really felt at peace until Yue was with her, that's why even the long, smooth streets without obstacles to avoid seemed like eternal torture.

Suki remembers the only time she had visited in the night; it had been late, and Yue had asked her to accompany her. However, she had disliked the idea of Suki returning home alone and after much discussion, they agreed that Suki could take care of herself but promised to call her as soon as she got to her place. Suki had never had to call anyone, nor had she had someone to call when she arrived, it would have been annoying had it not been for how happy Yue had sounded when she answered.

Yue’s house was alike the others around; big and traditional. It looked like the kind of house where the noise was steady inside and there was never any kind of loud yelling, where in the winter they would set a fire and laugh in front of a chimney, the kind of house where the armchairs matched with the tapestry on the walls and the lamps, where the smell of freshly baked cookies flooded the walls on weekends but during the week they would open the windows and breathe in the smell of flowers that the great nature that surrounded her contained in; lavender, roses, flowers that Suki couldn't name but surely the house would know.

As Suki was arriving at the front porch and was about to ring the bell, she could see Yue’s father’s car in the driveway and the chill that traveled down her back wasn’t the cold’s fault. If she could avoid meeting with him, it would be great. It wasn’t like she already knew him personally, but she had had a bad first impression of him. It had been the first game of the season and the school’s team were playing local, Suki had only gone to cheer for Yue. Huh, cheering for a cheerleader, funny. They weren’t yet close, they had only known each other for a couple of weeks, nevertheless, Yue had asked Suki to come, and ever since, Suki had never been able to tell her no.

Yue was an excellent cheerleader and she was amazing that night, spinning, jumping, smiling, and cheering. None of that avoided the stern scold Yue’s father had given her, pointing out at her faults and mistakes. Suki knew she wasn’t supposed to see that, but she had been going to congratulate her friend when she witnessed the scene. Needless to say, Suki wasn’t exactly rooting to meet the man.

Suki discreetly surrounded the front of the house, looking for a way to make Yue know she was there without being noticed. She spotted a window from which Yue’s room was unmistakable. Right in front of the window was a tree with a large trunk and thick branches that would have to support its weight. _How romantic._ And while Suki may not know the kind of tree that was rooted in there, she knew how to climb it.

It had been such a while since the last time Suki had done that; the part of the town where she lived was more a suburban no-trees kind of place; there were no trees or door that lead to backyard gardens like in there. But she knew how to climb buildings, it came in her vigilante agenda, and it wasn’t as different as climbing trees with the exception that buildings didn’t crack and told you when you were about to fall. It wasn’t easy either to climb with the soup and her skateboard squeezed inside her small backpack, but none of that mattered, Yue was worth it.

Once she was about the window’s height, she extender her arm trying to give some kind of sign of her presence. She sighed, her arm hadn’t been able to reach the window, at least the branch she found herself in was strong enough to hold her weight for a moment while she came up with another plan; she did the next most smart thing she could think of and took some colors from her pencil case and began to throw them. 

Just as panned, Yue opened the window to see what was making that noise, never expecting to find a “who” rather than a “what”, much less her. Suki could see the surprise in her friend's face who had frozen to her sighting.

“May I come in?” she asked. Yue nodded and extended her hand, Sofia took it and together they managed to bring her inside, but without much grace, they both fell to the floor; at least they found themselves falling on the carpeted floor of the room. Suki blushed, her body was almost completely on the cheerleader’s, she could feel her legs tangled and her hands still held. But she could also feel how her friend's belly trembled and laughter came from her lips. Suki laughed too. She then stood up and now she extended her hand to the cheerleader, who took it. This time they did not fall.

“That was crazy. Do you know there is a door downstairs, right?” Yue asked. She didn’t want to let her friend know that her father’s presence made something inside her boil with rage. But she didn’t have the heart to bluntly lie her in her own face.

“I didn’t want to risk your dad not letting me in.” she confessed, which was partly true. Yue, perfect Yue, “perfect grades” Yue, “she will most likely be offered two scholarships, one for her academic development and other for being such a good cheerleader” Yue, “she doesn’t know how to do anything wrong” Yue, perfect Yue, Yue. What would her dad say if he knew she was friends with no other but Suki? If she had only been her tutor it wouldn’t be such a big deal, but they cared for each other, they were actual friends. He would probably forbid her to see her again. Suki was a lot of things but not what a traditional parent like Yue’s would call a role model. She was part of a girl gang, for spirit's sake. But that hadn’t mattered to Yue, and for that Suki ~~loved~~ appreciated her.

“My dad isn’t here; he went on a business trip. He just left his car.” Yue explained and laughed. Had it been anyone else, Suki would have gotten mad, all her effort in vain and she also got laughed at, but it was Yue, and Suki couldn’t find it in herself to get mad for something as pretty as her laugh. 

“Next time, text me and I’ll let you know whether he is here or not.” _Next time._ Yue assumed Suki would be coming back to her, and now that she said it Suki didn’t see the idea too far to be true. Why wouldn’t she? Not the long streets, not the October cold that made her hands go sore, not having to put her skateboard inside a backpack that seemed too small for it and have to climb a tree seemed reasons good enough for her not to come to visit Yue if that was what the other wanted.

“I brought you soup. I heard you were ill” She told her as she took it out of her backpack. Yue took it and for a moment longer than necessary their fingers touched. Yue’s smile was the only thing that kept her spirit from abandoning her body. 

“C’mon, come with me to heat this up.” She said. Suki wanted to say there was no need for her to be there while she did that, but she saw Yue offering her hand and, for the second time that day, couldn’t refuser to take it.

As Yue led them downstairs, Suki tried to pay attention to her surroundings, a habit she had acquired from her time in the streets. She was always so in tune with everything that happened around her, and yet with Yue, their surroundings faded into the background. Later she would try to remember the path the cheerleader had taken her through in her house; the stairs and the hall they had walked through but, in her mind, there would be nothing there. What color was the wallpaper? Were there pictures in it? From whom? Which color was the carpet? Suki didn’t know, at that moment her attention belonged solely to the girl who held her hand against hers. She wouldn’t be able to tell the number of rooms or the curtain colors, but she knew that Yue’s hair was loose and reached just above her waist. She almost never wore her hair loose in school, she had always these nice and complicated styles in it, but now she did. It looked palest than ever and heavy as it bounced against her steps. She also noticed Yue wasn’t wearing gloss, which was too some kind of signature thing of her.

Yue’s fingers were interlocked with hers; there was no real need for them to even hold hands, Suki could have simply followed her from behind, but Yue had chosen to hold her. Yue’s finger, Suki’s finger, a blue painted nail, another not painted. Their hands looked like domino pieces; Yue’s warm hand against her. Yue, Yue, Yue.

“Here,” said Yue, interrupting Suki's thoughts. “play some music, the speaker is already linked.” Suki wasn’t fond of the fact that their hands had stopped touching but accepted it. She looked for one of her playlists and pressed down on the shuffle button.

In the meantime, Yue heated up the soup in the microwave and served two plates for them.

“Oh no Yue, it is for you.”

“But I want to share it with you, Suki,” Yue blushed “Besides I am not even sick.” She muttered so quietly Suki almost didn’t hear it, almost.

Suki wasn’t expecting _that_.

“Yue, are you saying what I think you are saying?” Suki faked a gasp. “Yue, are you skipping school?” Yue blushed even harder at her harmless taunts. She had been so immersed in Yue’s eyes she never even realized that Girl in Red was playing in the back.

“I shouldn’t have, I also lied to my dad.” Suki couldn’t help but laugh. She took the cheerleader’s hands against her one more time.

“Yue there is no better company to skip school but me. You and I are having so much fun today, right?”

Yue smiled.

They would bring up a couple of thick blankets to the roof of Yue’s house, where if it weren't for them the cold October air would have hit them hard. She and Suki laughed after their long day, in which they had done everything and nothing; they ate cheap microwave soup, took Yue’s dad's car and went to town, bought ice cream, came back, put on makeup, sang, removed makeup. Everything had been very slow, everything happened very fast and no time was ever enough with Betty.

Suki got her thought interrupted as she saw a Sushi approaching her mouth; Yue had insisted on ordering lots, since she had never tried them, and made Suki try them all. That was how they had spent the last few minutes, Yue feeding Suki and she accepting gladly.

Suki couldn’t help but to feel certain pain in her heart when she watched Yue. She had never noticed until now, but Yue was very lonely. In school, sure she was always surrounded by other cheerleaders, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t utterly alone; she was never actually heard, no one had cared whether it had been flu or a stomachache, no one had sent her the homework or the subjects that had been covered, no one called her in all day to ask how she was, no one else had cared for her. Nothing. Ans Yue didn’t deserve that, she deserved to have friends and people who liked, cared, and loved her. Yue deserved it all and not only what Suki had to offer.

Yue appreciated her too, she knew. Yue, perfect Yue, high schools’ sweetheart Yue, the very best person Suki knew had a room in her heart with the name “Suki” engraved in the door. And in Suki, her whole heart had her name. “Yue, Yue, Yue”. Yue

The October moon illuminated the cheerleader's dark complexion and made her look almost mystical. Suki could imagine her floating to the sky and becoming the moon; the whole idea seemed perfectly logical to her; Yue belonged in the sky and Suki belonged here, on a roof admiring her.

—

Winter break had never seemed longer to Suki. Sure, she had stuff to do but the days seemed longer when she waited so much for an hour to arrive. Yue called her every day at six o’clock on point and they talked about everything and nothing, sometimes Suki didn’t even know how they managed to give their conversation direction, but they always managed to do so. That had been, actually, Suki’s biggest fear as the winter break had approached; she thought that if they didn’t saw each other on the daily, Yue would come to the realization of how little she needed Suki in her life and would leave her behind. But it didn’t happen like that; Yue called her every day at six o’clock on point and they talked about everything and nothing; “Suki this”, “Suki that”, “Yue this other thing”, “Yue this”, “Suki I miss you, the evenings are longer without you in them”, ”Yue I miss you too, I would like to hold your hand”, ”Yue you are going to end with my phone’s credit”, “It doesn’t matter, I’ll buy more for you. We can go together to the store for more”, “Suki I kept your sweater, don’t make me give it back”, ”Yue I have your gloss”, ”Suki I hope to see you soon”, “Suki this, Suki that, Suki I care for you”, “Yue, Yue, Yue”, “I like it when you say my name”, “Yue I care for you to”. Like that, everything, and nothing at the same time, until Suki's credit finished, and Yue insisted on keeping her promise.

Suki was very punctual this time, she didn’t want to make Yue wait for her longer than necessary in the deafening cold December had brought with it. They had made the school their meeting point and from there they walked to the nearest store. _You are not wearing gloves_ , Yue had found an excuse to take her hand, as if she needed one, Suki had only smiled. They got in and out of the store fast, but neither of them wanted their time together to come to an end, so they extended it as far as they could. They sit on a bench outside, Yue never let go of her hand.

“We have to make sometime; my father cannot see me get back so fast; I am supposed to be at a cheerleader practice,” Yue told her, despite her dark skin she blushed with the cold. 

“Your dad makes you practice during the winter break?” She asked, despite already knowing the answer

“My dad always makes me train.”

“Even on Christmas?”

“Even on Christmas.” There was a pause. Suki knew Yue was too good to feel resentment towards anyone, but she thought that if Yue had space for such feelings, she could resent her dad.

She thought of the things she was missing due to a promise of a better future; Yue had never skipped school, she didn’t have many friends or a boyfriend. She had to train and study even on Christmas day; she didn’t know what was going to parties and acting sober; Yue didn’t live like a normal teen. But she hadn’t eaten sushi underneath the stars on top of a roof, and those experiences weren’t normal, it was only theirs, from Yue and Suki. And the skater wanted only to give them more of those as long as she let her.

“At what time are you supposed to come back?”

“At six, why?” the other one asked.

“Because we are about to celebrate our own, private special Christmas.”

Christmas was supposed to celebrate the beginning of a life, right? Well, this was exactly it, the start of something new. Today, December 22nd would be theirs and only theirs to celebrate.

And so, they spent the last two hours that fate allowed them. They bought candles and eggnog from the same store they had recently been to and raced to the skater's apartment. There was no time to see a movie, but it was enough to make a bedsheet fort and to talk and talk. Yue never let go of his hand, even if they had already left the cold behind.

Between their shared breath and their closeness under the sheets, a soft “Yue”, which always remained on the tip of Suki’s lips, escaped. Ever since she had said it for the first time it had been extremely easy to repeat it; between her lips when they spoke, in text messages when distance separated them, between her lips when on lonely nights when she could trace her lip by memory in the dark, on her mind all day. Yue, Yue, Yue.

Yue stared at her and Suki had to think fast on a way to fill the silence after pronouncing her name.

“Yue, why do you not have a boyfriend?” the cheerleader seemed taken aback from the question, but still answered back.

“Because my dad would kill me, he says boys are dumb and that I cannot have a boyfriend until after a college degree.”

Silence fell upon them; Suki hadn’t really known what had gotten her to ask such question. Wasn’t that what friends talked about? Boys and stuff like that? But friends didn’t want to kiss each other in the way she wanted either. 

“And you, Suki? Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” the white-haired girl asked. _Because I don’t think your father would like me more than any boy,_ was what she didn’t answer. Instead, she said:

“Because I agree with your dad. Boys are dumb, they don’t talk of other things but football and girls they want to kiss, and they don’t think of other than fu-“

“Suki!!!!” Yue interrupted her as she threw her a pillow.

They both started laughing until suddenly they didn’t, and they were just looking at each other, they were close enough to share their breaths or a kiss. But they didn’t, they just kept on keeping looking into each other’s eyes.

Yeah… boys could be really dumb. That was why it was better not to have a boyfriend.

—

Suki didn’t know exactly what had happened, it had all happened so fast and from one moment to another she found herself underneath a blinding white light in a hospital room. Oh, and she owed forty dollars to Yue, who was holding so strongly her hand that Suki’s fingers had begun to go numb, but she refused to let go even if it cost her her hand.

Okay, that may have been an exaggeration, but it was better to focus on the numbness that the cheerleader provoked rather than on the threat that was currently passing through her forehead’s skin.

It seemed as if it was that the very cheerleader they were sewing (“suturing” was the correct term; the doctor had previously apathetically corrected her). Whatever it was, it definitely hurt more than the pressure of Yue’s fingers against hers; her eyes were tightly closed, and her lashes were intertwined, they were really curly.

Suki could not help but contemplate her friend for a moment more than she should, she allowed it because the other could not see her. If the dried blood that was still on her face was the price, she would pay for her to admire unlimitedly Yue, and for her to hold Suki’s hand, she would surely end up paying it. Maybe not exactly the way the whole situation had gone down for them to find themselves where they were, but maybe in some other way.

Suki sighed and closed her eyes for a moment as all the events that had happened in the few last hours came to her mind.

It was a Thursday, which meant Yue didn’t have group cheerleader practice, however, Suki couldn’t help but notice the fact that she had canceled on her individual practice in order to spend time with her on that spring evening.

To be honest, the only thing springy was the date, for it seemed winter hadn’t really gone. Even though the streets got no longer frozen at night and stayed glazed until the morning, the cold still clawed against Suki’s face when she skated. Yue was her weakness and she knew it, when the cheerleader asked her to see her skate on Thursday, she couldn't say no., never minding the cold.

On more than one occasion, Suki had wondered if the other girl would be aware of the power she could exercise in her if she wanted to, if she knew that Suki would let her do and undo everything, in how she belonged more to her than to herself; how she would do everything, whatever Yue wanted she would do.

Anyhow, the spring’s Thursday with a winter feeling arrived much slower than Thursdays always arrived, perhaps because this was the first one that Suki longed for. They walked together after school, the extra weight of the skateboard inside her backpack was already usual and did not hurt her, this did not prevent Yue from worrying about it and questioning her well-being and comfort. Suki smiled. Yue, Yue, Yue ...

Suki knew the exact date of when their relationship had beginning to change; she still remembered that Friday the 22nd, but she hadn’t expected them to keep that way; Lately Yue had been holding her hand more than usual, it was something truly magical that caused her stomach ache and made her head spin a little. Her heart always fluttered, and shivers ran down her spine, and couldn’t do anything more but reciprocate the touch.

This time wouldn’t have been any different, it was an everyday thing for Yue to hold her hand, but this time Suki started it. Fear of being an unwelcome gesture did not subside until Yue answered her with a gentle squeeze and a smile, and oh how Suki loved her.

They quickly reached the park, the coldness in the environment made them walk faster and she couldn’t help to notice the goose bumps that could be seen on the cheerleader's legs in the absence of coverage; she was wearing a skirt. It was impossible to deny from any angle that the skirt fit Yue wonderfully, it always did and at some point, Suki could not help but to feel certain envy, which later transformed into full admiration with a slight touch of attraction; she went from wanting to have Yue’s legs to wanting to have them pressed against her. Today was no exception but putting aside her fantasies that she shouldn’t even have to have about her best friend and noticed how cold Yue felt.

“Yue, we are like forty degrees, why are you wearing a skirt?” she asked, non-judgmentally.

She had no actual complaints against her outfit; Yue looked as if a Renaissance painting was lost in a Pop Art one, and yet it made it seem that the place did not belong around it and not vice versa. Graffitied ramps and dirty pipes were the ones that didn’t belong to be around Yue, not the other way around.

If it had been anyone who managed to make Suki feel out of her element it would bother her; her blood would rise to her head quickly and her sight would be colored red, and while Yue did not avoid that precisely she did gave it a new meaning; with Yue, her blood went to her head and she saw red, yes, but in a different shade and there was no room for anger or rage.

“Because we are in April! Spring should have been already here” Yue said, and she was probably right, it hadn’t been probably her fault, it was the sun’s and the sky’s who had failed to bring spring on time for her.

“It looks like it has betrayed you.” Suki said, almost getting mad at the earth for not rotating properly. Yue smiled at her as if she was the sun itself and could take her cold away. And, if she could, Suki would. But the best she could do now was taking her hoodie off and offer it to the other girl. Yue almost told her no, but Suki insisted that she would soon get warm, and accepted it eventually.

Yue looked so different from her usual blue undertones wearing an olive green item, a wave of affection traveled Suki’s body at the image in front of her. then, she realized she had just created a problem for her future self; would she ask for her hoodie back (would it smell of cinnamon-like the girl who would have been wearing it?) or would she let her keep it (would she sleep with it? ). Anyway, it was a problem for Future Suki, Present Suki had other problems in mind.

Yue had never seen her skate before; sure, she had seen her skate but not skate _skate_ , which involved all these tricks and maneuvers, this lack of fear of falling when she and her board were as one and nothing came in between. It was something almost too personal, other than the Kyoshi Warriors no one had ever paid special attention to her skating before, therefore Suki didn’t know what to expect from the whole situation. Yue sat down and waited for suki to begin; Suki compelled.

None of her previous doubts really mattered at the time; time always seemed to dissolve when Suki skated, that's why she liked it, it allowed the feeling of freedom. And when she did it by herself, it even gave her identity, it was her and her skateboard, nothing and no one else. She always thought that this kind of loneliness was ideal for someone like her, she did not expect anything more than these moments. But she had discovered that there was something better than skating alone, and that was skating with her friends, which now included Yue, who was on one side with her eyes glued to her. The cheerleader seemed truly in awe of every trick she performed, even if they weren't complicated and some went wrong, she was supportive of Suki. She was as surprised as if she was actually watching her fly.

Suki had never felt admired, nor did she ever hope to be, much less by someone so perfect with Betty, with the Kyoshi warriors it was more like a horizontal structure among them. But her friend was genuine and brought her a warm feeling that no hoodie could replace.

Bringing Yue had been a mistake. Not because Yue ruined it, but because Suki couldn't help but keep her eyes on her and how well her hoodie fitted her. And that's why she didn't notice it until she felt the absence of a skateboard under her feet and a sharp pain as she was being thrown against the floor, against which she fell hard and without any kindness.

Her palms burned from the impact against the cold winter floor, and her knees no longer touched the inside of her pants, now they touched pure concrete. Many springs ago, Suki had not been the expert skater that she was now, and she had fallen more times than she could remember, but on no occasion did she recall feeling so ashamed, nor had her cheeks heated so much.

“Hey! Why don’t you pay more attention to where you are going! Are you some kind of beginner?” yelled at her a voice not so far away from her.

Suki opened her eyes and examined her position better, she looked quickly at her skateboard and fortunately, she could see that it was still in one piece, away from her, but in one piece. The skateboard of the boy who was now yelling at her hadn't been so lucky. Among all the skater's thoughts, cursing over the new skateboard she would have to buy for him found a space. She knew it had been her fault, she wouldn't deny it.

Amid all the disturbance, Suki had forgotten her audience and only came back to her mind when instantly after the scene that had unfolded like lightning, she was at her side, helping her to get up. Yue was an open book and the concern that painted her eyes only reaffirmed it. Her big brown eyes widened as she examined the skater from head to toe.

Suki felt almost exposed and her shame welled up through her again. The first time Yue came to see her, and she makes the most ridiculous scene of her entire life. She did not miss the irony that those eyes of hers that now looked at her with concern were the same ones that prevented her from seeing anything else and falling to the ground.

“You need to get me a new one, you know” the other skater yelled again. Lost in her friend’s eyes she had almost forgotten about him.

Yue turned to Suki, who understood what her look meant and allowed it. No one had ever fought her battles for her, Suki was proud and while she understood the power of teamwork with her Kyoshi Warriors, if the fight was hers alone, she never asked for them to interfere. But Suki wasn't quite for asking for it now instead she was being asked. She didn't know that this was something Yue would have, _wanted_ , done for her. But now that she knew she too knew she would fight them all for the other girl.

“Look, I just have forty dollars to make up for your skateboard. You can complete what’s missing, you aren’t exactly a hundred percent not guilty for the crash.” Yue said firmly. Suki had never seen that expression in her friend’s face, not quite anger but something oddly close to it.

Things had gotten okay after that, as okay as they could be at least. The other guy had taken the 40 dollars (much more than what his skateboard seemed to be worth, but Suki had no heart to tell Yue that) and left them alone. Once with him gone, Yue turned her full attention to her. She brought her hands carefully to her forehead where Suki felt a sharp pain. She couldn't help but wince.

“I think we should go to the hospital; this doesn’t look good at all and a few stiches never hurt.”

“I thought you said you hated blood” How did Yue managed to make her feel so good in between so much pain? The cheerleader smiled softly at her.

“I am no fan of the idea, but I am even less fan of the idea of that cut getting infected. C’mon, you can make it for me later if we go for an ice-cream afterwards.” Yue said, even though Suki felt as if it was a lie.

She would never be able to make it up for her, not even if she payed those forty dollars back, not even if she bought her her favorite ice-cream (chocolate chips), not even if she let her squeeze her hand until it turned purple. Nothing could ever compensate for the love Yue gave her so freely, the only thing she could hope to be enough was that the other one felt herself be loved with the same intensity.

—

Real spring took her time showing up, but when it did, it came down hard. In no time the streets concrete burned as bad as fire itself and Suki had to go back into thick leather fingerless gloves. Yue liked fingerling with them. There were only 8 weeks left of school which meant 8 more Wednesdays with Yue by her side. And Mondays, and Tuesdays, and Thursdays and Fridays and any days Yue would give her.

But it also meant that the spring ball was to come, and with its absolute chaos. King and queen campaigns were a total mess, so far Suki had gone through three different presentations with proposes of the changes they would be implementing if they won.

Suki saw no point in doing the whole elections and campaigns if the whole school knew beforehand who would win; as the year before, and the year before that. Yue had been the first freshman girl ever to win and she hadn’t stop winning ever since and Suki saw it improbable for her not to win this time. The funniest thing was that betty didn’t even postulate herself and sometimes her name wasn’t even in the ballots but someway or another her name always ended up being the one people wrote down the most.

Suki had never gone to a spring dance before; honestly, she wasn’t of much friends in the school and she found them a bit dumb. And why would she go if she could spend her evening skating down the streets with the Kyoshi warriors? No thank you, hard pass. And that was why something inside her did short circuit when Yue said:

“Come to the spring dance with me.”

Suki didn’t know what to answer back or why had her friend come up with such weird idea. The cheerleader never went with no one in particular, despite having many offers she always went with the remaining cheerleading squad that hadn’t gotten dates. Yue wanting to skip that tradition was… unusual, not to say SUPER FUCKING WEIRD. Eloquently, the skater answered back .

“Huh?” was the only noise that made it out her mouth.

“Yes!!! Think about it!!! We would have so much fun together!!”

Sure, being on a room surrounded by people Suki didn’t even knew as all eyes were on her for being Yue’s plus one sounded super fun. She could almost hear the rumors that would fly if they saw them taking hands or if the saw the way Yue was looking at her right now. Besides, Suki didn’t know how to dance, didn’t have a dress for the occasion or something else she could wear. And what would Yue’s dad say if he heard that his perfect daughter had gone with such troublemaker?

But Yue was asking, and she didn’t know the word “no” when Yue was around. When Yue moved in that way her thick eyelashes faith took a break and now it was her who moved mountains. What harm would a stupid ball do?

“Okay, I’ll go with you.”

Suki would regret that choice for the rest of the summer.

It would be just so pretty to think that Suki did go, that she rented a pretty dress and her girls had helped her do a less theatrical makeup than the white-red one they used as part of their vigilante’s act. That she met with Yue in the gym where they danced all night long and ended up kissing and everyone had cheered for them.

But Suki’s life wasn’t what would be pretty to think about, nor a fairytale where she ended with the girl. And more times than not, she was the one who ruined it.

It is necessary to say, however, that she really tried. She did rent a pretty dress on a store near by and took off her decorative band aids and put on the earrings Master Kyoshi had given her when she told her about the ball; they had the shape of a fan. And her girls did help her get the make up right. The final touch had been the lipstick though, her _lipstick_.

She had been staring at the mirror for almost fifteen minutes now and she hadn’t yet made up her mind about what she really wanted to do about it. Yue’s lip-gloss had been in her belonging for a while now with the awareness of the other; once, at the beginning of their story, she had forgotten it in the library and Suki couldn’t help but to take it with her. She had thought about returning it back, but it always stayed forgotten in her room. Finally, when she had approached the subject to the cheerleader, she had insisted in her keeping it and after all that time, she found for the first time here, in front of a mirror just about to use it.

Suki had never worn gloss like that one before, it looked expensive and smell like strawberry. Suki remembers how she envied the tip of the gloss which got to touch Yue’s lips all the time.

 _Pop!_ did the lipstick as she opened it. It seemed weird to be hearing the same noise Yue did just before touching her lips with it. A smile crossed her face, only they had heard it. She brought the tip to her lips and watched her hands tremble. Suki scowled, it was just lipstick, she shouldn’t be afraid of a stupid lipstick. Softly, she traced her lips until they were filled.

The green dress fit her well against her skin, it hugged her where she should be hugged, she had brushed her hair and it fell like curtains against her shoulders and if she smiled she looked pretty, so why didn’t she? She didn't want to be seen by anyone but the other girl, and she didn't want to have to see anyone else. She didn't want to worry about being told how insufficient she was for Yue, who would surely look perfect while Suki was a vain attempt of someone who wasn’t her.

The anguish of it all crashed heavily on her. It wasn't even that she felt many things, it was just one that scared her; love. She wanted her, oh God, and how she loved her. That is the reason why her heart ached when she texted “I feel bad, I will not go. Sorry ☹ ”. She left her cell phone far away to avoid seeing the disappointed answer she would eventually get and, with her green dress still on, she lay down on her bed and began to cry.

She did not know anything, neither when she fell asleep nor when she covered herself with the blankets of her bed. She choose to be brave and look at her phone, only to see two things she wished she had not; the first one she had brought it upon herself by going through Instagram the day after the ball because of course Betty had won and looked wonderful while doing so, and everyone had wanted to snap pictures with her. it became worse as the number of videos of guys dancing with her only increased.

The next thing she looked in her phone was an only message that said "Okay, I hope you get better soon.” Lies. She knew it was bullshit for she had known how much Yue had really wanted to dance with. And Suki could never deny Yue anything-so they **would** dance together and put on their dresses, but it would be on their terms, with no one to see or judge or say anything at all.

Suki let the afternoon pass, so that her plan would work. "Is your dad there?" Suki texted her as she put her dress and the damn lip-gloss in her backpack. She took her skateboard too and went out. “No, he went on a trip today. Why? Are you coming?" "Put your makeup and dress in a backpack and I'll see you at 10. Bring your speakers too."

Suki had been right, skating the long way to Yue’s home was hot as hell, even though the sun was setting, spring nights were still hot. She didn't care about it, as she knew she wouldn't. Ten minutes later, said and done, she arrived at Yue’s, she was waiting for her sitting outside on the sidewalk. She couldn't help but see that her eyes were a bit puffy and she wondered if she had cried too.

“Hey” Yue said with an obvious lack of enthusiasm. Suki’s heart broke.

“C’mon, let’s go. I have something to show to you.” She told her praying her voice wouldn’t break then. Yue didn’t seem mad at her, she just looked tired. Nevertheless, she accepted her hand and let herself be guided by Suki

Not a word was exchanged in all the way, but their hands held together a promise louder than the silence among them. Suki wanted to say something, there were many things she wanted to say to her, but she did not, instead she let the spring lull them.

“Why are we here?” Yue asked when they found themselves standing in front of their school.

"Because we are about to have our own private prom.”

It was easy to see how Betty's face lit up and, without thinking, she threw herself into a hug while muttering a thousand "thank you’s" against the skater’s neck. Suki didn’t find the heart to discourage her and tell her that she wouldn't be thanking her if she had showed up in the first place, that it was the least he could do for her. They would have been happy if they had stayed there hugging for all eternity, but instead they held hands and headed to the gym, which was still adorned from the night before, it was closed, but Sofia knew how to open locks. Betty giggled under her breath, nervous about the vibes of the whole thing, but not giving it too much importance.

“Wait! Let’s get ready in the restrooms first!” Said Yue and before Suki could even answer her back, she was dragging her.

Yue asked for her permission and she combed her hair and did tiny braids along the way, Suki let her paint her lips and refused the lipstick once more. "I can't accept it back, much less now that I know how good it looks on you" she had told her and surely noticed how the skater blushed, but she didn't say anything about it. 

Suki also observed how Yue put makeup on, she had told her that she had looked better the night before, but Suki did not believe it, she had never looked as pretty as she did at that moment.

And then they danced and danced and sang and sang. The night was as magical as they wanted. They managed to turn the disco ball on and connect their music to the little speaker they had brought. It was all empty and lonely and, in another scenario, it might be tragic, the ghost of a teenage night that would never repeat itself in the same way it had been the one before. In the atmosphere, broken hearts, promises created be broken with time, everything that had happened right there one night ago could be admired.

But not right now, tonight it was all theirs. They even recreated the coronation from the night before, but somehow Betty convinced Sofia to let herself be crowned along her. She gave a speech and everything and Yue laughed.

Suki thought that she would do anything for Yue, whatever she wanted. It was the best night of their lives.

The return was quick and improvised, as they heard someone enter the school and escaped before they even started looking for them. When they were far enough away, Yue had asked her to teach her how to skate. "But you could ruin your dress," Suki had warned her, "It doesn't matter, I want to."

Her skating lesson was to get on the actual thing and lose her fear, Suki was pulling as she held her hand and inspired her confidence at the same time. Life had brought them many twists and turns, where maybe they should not have met, but they did, and maybe Yue shouldn't have forgiven Suki so many times, but she did, and Suki didn't feel enough for Betty, but she was and the moon of that night knew it.

It was just a short time before they reached the cheerleader’s house and concluded their evening. Perhaps Yue would invite her to stay and perhaps Suki would accept. It would be pretty to think that she would.

Instead, they reached Yue’s place. . It could have been the first time that Suki agreed and stayed to sleep with her, both in the same bed. Or they could have pull up blankets and sleep uncomfortably on the roof in the light of a waning moon and a couple of stars. Or maybe she wouldn’t, and they could have stuck to the routine they had up to that point in which Yue would stay and Suki would promise to send m her location so the white-haired girls wouldn't worry about her.

But none of that happened. They stood both at the doorstep and they only stared at each other, neither said anything. Yue wasn’t inviting her in, and Suki wasn’t saying she had to go. The cheerleader brought her hand to the skater's cheek and she leaned in at her touch and closed her eyes, letting Yue cup her face. Then, her other hand also found Suki’s face and her thumb on her cheekbone moved in a circular, soothing pattern.

Suki knew that the next morning she would not remember the songs they had played, or what bathroom they had gone to, instead she would remember the softness of her hands against her face and how they felt to her.

She opened her eyes and Yue had a strange look on her face, her chest moving irregularly almost as if she was finding it difficult to breathe. Or maybe she was the one who couldn't do it and Yue was perfectly fine in front of her. It was hard to tell who was the one short of breath.

It was impulse, it was decision, it was power, it was despair, it was love, it was many things that brought her lips to join the other lips. It was an explosion, it was tenderness, it was friendship, it was affection in a shared breath, but, above all, it was **Yue**. Yue, Yue, Yue, Yue, Yue, Yue, Yue, Yue ...

But Yue wasn’t responding, she was frozen-like and Sofía's heart skipped a beat. She stopped kissing her. Maybe she had been reading it all wrong and Yue was her best friend and nothing more. Whatever Suki wanted didn’t matter, because **it** wasn’t what she wanted it to be and now she knew it. Too late, perhaps. Too late to retract, too late to apologize, too late to keep her mind from swirling and, without thinking clearly, she just grabbed her skateboard and fled.

The skater had done risky tricks on her board, she had done silly and dangerous things out that fit in her whole vigilante-gang agenda, she had also done many things out of pride but never because she was brave, Suki was not brave. Brave would have been staying to listen to what Yue had to say, but when she called her name she did not turn. Brave would have been to speak with her best friend before and face a verbal rejection, brave would have been to accept that the tears in her eyes were what clouded her sight and made her fall, tearing a dress that wasn’t even hers to tear. It would have been brave to admit that when she had stayed hugging her legs crying had been out of a pain that did not come from anywhere outside her body. It would have been brave to admit how much the moon heard her sobbing. But she was not **brave**.

But she could be, couldn’t she? She could try, at least. Or so she had thought.

As she woke up the following day, she washed the ran mascara from her face and washed her face with cold water, as if it could take away her pain. In front of the mirror with the taste of Yue’s lips still on her lips she took a decision; she took a deep breath and rode her skateboard to the other’s house. The path was hot and heavy, but that wasn’t what was keeping her breathing.

She passed right in front of the place where it had all happened through. The house looked as if it knew what she had done the last night and was judging her for it, but Suki couldn’t quite place what was the house judging; her cowardness or the kiss itself. Anyhow, she couldn’t bring herself to stop in front of it. She just couldn’t. What was she supposed to do? What would she say? Should she apologize? Should she confess? Should she beg for forgiveness? She died none and instead she kept quiet.

Amidst the chaos in her head, she didn’t hear the car that passed right next to her. On another occasion she would have recognized it instantaneously she had been multiple times on that car and taken lifts from it, it belonged to one of her girls; Hachi. As soon as she noticed the red car next to her she stopped dead in her tracks.

Hachi was nice, she and Suki had always been good friends despite her being a year younger than the girl, she had let Suki be the leader of the Gang. Hachi had been there the night they had all helped Suki get ready for the ball; she had told Suki the other person must be lucky to have her. Suki had disagreed and said the lucky one here was her. She did not feel lucky this time.

“Suki? Are you alright?” Hachi asked her. Suki kept looking at Yue’s house as if it would give her the answer she was looking for.

“Yeah, sure.” She answered back. The house had said “I don’t know”, though.

“You don’t look like it. C’mon, get in. Let’s drive and you can tell me all about it”

And what was Suki supposed to say to that? Was she supposed to keep staring at the house of the only person she had loved in her life until when? If she had been expecting some kind of sign the red car in front of her would have to be it. Once inside, what was she supposed to say to the other girl? What was she supposed to answer when she confessed, she had a crush on her? What was she supposed to do when Hachi said she wanted an unforgettable summer before going to college? When they agreed on doing this only as friends? When days turned into nights?

Suki didn’t know what was supposed to do. She could have blamed it on her age, she was only seventeen after all. But she had always known what she wanted and what to do. This had been very far from her area of knowledge. She didn’t know what to do to keep the pain thinking of Yue brought. The only things she knew was that despite the other Kyoshi Warrior sleeping next to her on a bed, brown eyes and white hair never left her dreams.

And that she missed Yue.

But Yue couldn’t be missing her much. For she avoided her the last two weeks of classes. Not that Suki were doing an effort on her own; Suki had changed her number and lost the other’s contact. She had two weeks of tutoring left that she canceled for those were only justified excuses to spend time with her friend. But now she didn't want any of that anymore.

Ever since that night, Suki had only seen her once; among a cheerleader crowd she could spot out her white; Suki didn’t stay there for long. When once her afternoons had been filled with messages and their hands intertwined, now there was only bitter loneliness.

The idea of apologizing still echoed in Suki’s head from time to time. It never left entirely. But she was scared; The problem here was that at best Yue would forgive her and they would remain friends but would always be the undeniable truth that Suki had ruined them. Yue would never invite her to stay at her house or trust her in the same way she had again, and Suki did not believe she would survive the pain of losing the intimacy they had created between them. What if she never holds hands with her anymore? She would not survive, she simply she would not, she would die of pain.

But in the worst case, Yue would not forgive her this time and would entirely stop being her friend and **that** was so much worse, because it was one thing to have the limited presence of the cheerleader in her life and quite another to not have her at all.

And that had been why she hadn’t dared talking to her yet. She didn’t want the result of her actions to slap her in her face just yet. So many times, she had turned her back on her, avoiding any kind of interaction. This way was the least painful for her. If she didn't speak to her, if she ended it, Yue would have nothing to break, nothing to put an end to. Suki was selfish, yes, also a coward, but it was either that or die at the hands of the lack of love from her best friend.

School had only a couple of weeks left and then they would have the summer to wipe that friendship they had cultivated all year long. But spring was gone, and summer came, and Yue never left neither from her mind nor from her heart.

There was not a day that she did not missed her for something, for some reason or another Yue leaved rent free in her mind. Even when she had forbidden herself from thinking of her, Yue reappeared. She always did. Sometimes on the most stupid ways the word had a fun way to make her remember her; Suki went to the store to buy detergent and “oh, that must be the detergent that is used in Yue’s house, because that's what her clothes smelled like”, “those chocolates were Yue’s guilty pleasure, her eyes lit up the first time I bought her some” ,“ that's the street we walked to get to the hospital ”,“ That's the song we danced to! ”,“ that was the color of Yue’s skirt” Yue, Yue, Yue, everything, absolutely everything screamed Yue.

From the time she woke up until she slept; it seemed that even the moon and the sun knew about her despair and insisted on reminding her. All day, every day in May, June, and July she thought about her friend.

Suki had really hoped she wouldn’t have to hear from Yue until they got back to school again, however, she couldn't avoid the high school tradition of hearing about a cheerleading party and not being invited.

Maybe she didn't even know it and it was just general knowledge that every summer, on a Friday before school, the football team and the cheerleaders threw a tremendous party where few people were socially acceptable for them to go. The only different thing this year had been that she had been lucky enough to hear that it would be at Betty's house.

Looking back, this was a terrible idea and, like most terrible ideas in Suki’s life, she didn't even know that she had prompted her to commit to it. She only knew that she was in Yue’s porch holding a lip-gloss on one hand and her skateboard on the other.

 **She took a deep breath; she had been preparing herself for this all summer long for this.** She wasn't cold, but her body was shaking, but she had been shaking ever since the moment she had walked away from Yue, whether it was out of anger, sadness, or fear, but she continually shook.

Now, it was more like anxiety induced. It was the first time she was brave; she had the right to tremble a little about it. Suki thought that she would probably never again have the opportunity to count the bathrooms in the house, nor to notice the ceiling and the lamps; and it was a sad thing to think that, in a future, when she remembered Yue, she would not be able to give the scene a proper setting of her house in her mind, for she had changed that time contemplating the other girl.

And now here she was again, ready for everything and nothing at all. She knew that what had been done, done was, for better or for worse; she would never forget the months she spent by her side even if everything was ruined now _._ **There was nothing left to be lost now, she told herself, one cannot lose what isn’t yours to lose in the first place.**

The music reached the outside of the house, but the silence she felt was louder than any sound. She needed to see her one more time so she could end breaking her heart and allowed her to heal again. Even though she doubted this was something she would ever be able to recover from; Yue didn’t know how to do anything wrong. She wouldn’t just break her heart, no, she would pulverize it, wreck it, ravage it, and burn it to the ground. But that would be wrong, her heart **did** belong to Yue after all and she could do to it as she pleased, even if it hurt her. Yue, Yue, Yue…

She should really get over with the whole thing; she took a step forward and inhaled courage. She reached the doorbell even though she doubted it would be heard from the crowd inside the place, but she did, and the door started opening in slow motion.

It wasn’t Yue who had opened the door for her, instead it was a silly football player. This scenario had not rehearsed in her mind. She knew she would most likely be told off or kicked out, Suki’s name wasn’t part of the exclusive list of people they let through, and it was clear from the way he glared at her. Before she was officially kicked out of there, the owner of the house came out.

In all her fantasies, Yue always looked divine, reality never disappointed. But it didn't matter what she looked like, because her face was what Suki would remember for the rest of her life. She didn't look upset, or angry, or sad or anything. She had never seen Yue with such a neutral expression as the one she now had.

From the outside, the scene would probably look pathetic; a sad dog coming back with a bird between his teeth.

 _“I want to know what shampoo you use and how you brush your hair. I want to see you when you wake up and before you sleep, I want to know how you make pancakes and if you put honey on them. I don't know why the moon sometimes looks complete and other times it can't be seen, I know it has something to do with rotation and translation, but honestly, I don't know. Nor do I know which is the big bear, or any constellation, but I do know of arriving at your house with closed eyes without even worrying about the movement of cars. I don't know where I see myself in a year or a month, but I know I miss you. I know I love you and I miss you. "_ Suki wanted to tell her, but she didn't. They continued to see each other without any word leaving the lips of either. The strangest thing was that Yue’s eyes seemed to want to answer everything that was left unsaid.

“I came to give you your gloss back.“

"You can have it.” Yue replied. Suki took a deep breath and a wave of bravery hit her body.

“I'm so sorry. For everything. I don't really know how to fix it; I just want to make it up to you. I don't know if our relationship can be fixed, but I need you to know that I love you. Please don't stop loving me. I will accept whatever you give me.”

The music made conversation difficult, but it seemed that Yue had heard it all loud and clear. Would there be people watching the scene? What would they think? For the first time in her life, Suki realized that she couldn’t care less. No matter what they wanted to believe, she only needed her best friend back. She only wanted Yue. Yue, Yue, Yue ...

This time it was faster than the first time and it was her turn to be surprised by it.

Yue’s lips against hers moved and maintained a gentle rhythm. Suki understood now why Yue had reacted the way she had the previous time, her body betrayed her, and she couldn't move, she could only close her eyes and feel. The sensation of Yue against her lips and her arms around her neck was overwhelming.

So many times, she had visualized how Yue would kill her, she never imagined it would be this way, with a cardiac arrest, drowning and electrocuted all at once. But it was okay, her heart was Yue’s and if Yue wanted it, she would give it to her.

Yue broke away from her and saw her.

 _“I get it, thanks for coming. I didn't think you would speak to me again. I don't want to lose our friendship either. Never give me my lipstick back, keep it and always come back to me. You are my home, and I yours, let's be together from now on ever and evermore”_ was what Yue’s eyes would have told her if she could speak. She didn't, but that didn't stop Suki from answering. This time, they both responded to each other's lips.

And that's it. There is nothing more of their story to tell. Did Yue get into trouble with her dad? Perhaps. Did they stay together until graduation? Probably. Did Yue learn to skate? Surely not, but it didn't stop her from trying. Did their paths separated from each other once they left high school? I would like to think not, but I really don't know.

But what difference does it make? In that moment, in that moment they were ethereal and eternal. They only existed in a kiss under a summer moon. August would slip away into a moment in time to make up for the kiss from two girls who had managed to freeze the time itself with it. In that frozen time, the only thing that could be heard was how they both only named each other. _Suki, Suki, **Suki**. Yue, Yue, **Yue.**_

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired on Betty by Miss Taylor Swift; I am going to be completely honest, last semester I took a class on creative writing and wrote this with a slight variation, then I realized how well it could fit Yueki in this Modern AU, so I translated it, changed it, changed it again, edited it, changed it again and again and turned to be nothing like my original one but heavily based upon it. It was fun, I had never translated an original text of mine in English and I think I did a nice job. I always find that to express really deep things or to reach a certain level of connection I find it easier in my mother tongue, so this was a fun experiment I hope you enjoy it as much as I did with the final result.  
> If you are interested on reading the original piece I wrote you can find it here, it is in Spanish though :)  
> https://issuu.com/danielartrujillo/docs/betty


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